[Guest Post] The Big WHY Behind the Power of Sandtray Therapy

So you’ve heard about sandtray therapy but aren’t sure if it REALLY works. I mean, it’s just playing in the sand right? Also, it’s not REALLY therapy- you don’t even know what’s going on during the session? And isn’t it just for kids?

I know, I’ve heard all of those (and even said them myself at one point). 

Rest easy though. I’m here to tell you WHY all of these beliefs are just a big ol’ pile of crap.

Know why? Because SCIENCE.

Science helps us understand ourselves and our brains better. I always like it when science helps explain something we already knew to be true. 

Like sandtray therapy. For years, we knew it worked but were not REALLY sure why it did. Kind of like gravity. Or weather systems. Or [insert natural phenomenon here]. 

We now can peek inside the brain with fMRI’s and understand how our brain processes information.  Information is processed first with pictures and THEN words and linguistics are attached to it. This makes sense if you think about it- we can process images WAY before we can words developmentally. 

I bet if you think about, this still happens. Ever seen a picture that affected you a certain way in your body and mind but struggled to put it into words?

That’s because information is processed first with pictures and images in the right part of our brain and this information may never get moved to the left part of the brain (where words happen).  The right side of the brain is where all of our early trauma lies as well as our feelings and emotions. 

Seems like the right side of the brain is where the big meat of the therapy stuff lies doesn’t it?

But yet, think about how we normally work in session. We talk left brain to left brain.  We try to get at those inner feelings and trauma that are hampering our client’s growth only through words. More often than not, we feel like we just can’t get what is really going on with just words and feel that there’s more we just can’t access.

It’s not you, it’s not your fault. You are just trying to get at information that isn’t stored with words. It’s like trying to dig a hole with half of a shovel. You may make progress and get there but it’s going to be tough going. 

I’m here to give you the entire shovel. Sandtray therapy is your shovel. It will make your life easier and it will allow you feel more confident in your ability to dig in and get at all of that feeling stuff buried in the right brain.

With sandtray therapy, you can access all of that therapy meat in the right part of the brain and heal it with using images AND words.  When we work in the sandtray, we are using both sides of our brain.  When we get both sides of the brain to come online together, the more our client’s brain integrates. More integration means faster, more powerful progress.

This integration is why adults working in the sandtray get better so much faster and get at insights they normally wouldn’t be able to access during just talk therapy.  It’s because the images in the sandtray naturally tap into the feelings part of the brain, allowing to go straight to the source, right brain to right brain. 

Healing happens right brain to right brain.

Kids naturally use their right hemisphere more during play so you may not get the stark difference you see with adults in the sandtray.  Sandtray therapy goes in the backdoor in the brain to get it ALL to come online so we as therapists can help heal ALL of the wounds, even the deep ones that are too scary to put into words.

Now, you can see that sandtray therapy isn’t just playing in the sand, for adults, or some kind of hocus-pocus.

It’s science. Sandtray therapy is a brain-informed method that works where our client’s hurt lies - in the right brain. 

To learn more about what sandtray therapy is and is not click here for a FREE webinar. It will answer all of those nagging questions, if you’re still not convinced. If you are, then you still need to watch it, it will only reinforce the truth of sandtray therapy’s awesomeness.

Comment below with any questions or observations you have about sandtray therapy. 

How have you experienced progress in therapy through experiential methods, such as sandtray?

Amy Flaherty, LPE-I, RPT has been working with in the outpatient setting for over 10 years and has been in private practice since 2007.  Since learning about sandtray therapy, it has become her passion.  She now has a training institute, Southern Sandtray Institute, where she trains other therapists in this powerful method.  To find out more about the program and if sandtray therapy is right for you click HERE to grab your free webinar about the 5 most common sandtray therapy myths.

Are we there yet? Part 2

Are we there yet? Another way of saying, "Have we arrived?" Well, we all know the counseling profession - like the practice of counseling - isn't about a destination, but instead is closer to a scaffolding of levels. Today, we're talking about how you know when you've arrived at the level of readiness for professional practice, agency or private. I've scoured the archives of some of the best counselor bloggers out there to help me arrive at the right answers. Here's what I've come up with since Part 1. 

Before you have reached the level of a counseling professional, you must: 

Know how to communicate your value as a counselor to others. Many of us stumble when it comes to asserting our own value. Especially where you are now, it feels like you are barely competent sometimes. But you DO offer your clients value, and you need to know how to identify and develop that. One great way to practice demonstrating value (and attract clients in the meantime) is to start a blog. In "Ten Types of Blog Posts for Your Therapy Website," Becky DeGrossa nails the many different ways to express yourself and develop your self-confidence through blogging. 

Be comfortable with the financial compensation you earn as being commensurate with that value. This is where the process can really break down. You may be able to accept that you have value, but putting a price tag on that? Ouch. Whether it's accepting a salary or setting a private practice rate, you need to overcome "Counseling Fee Shame," as this outstanding video by Camille McDaniel demonstrates. 

Match your daydreams with reality. This may not mean what you think it means. It is important to balance the more unrealistic dreams you may have with the reality of everyday life. But it is EQUALLY important not to limit your daydreams because you think that it's not something you can accomplish. You are called at a deep level to serve others. It is okay for that to follow a non-traditional format if that's what it takes to fulfill your soul calling. In, "The Dirty Secret Behind Success," Elizabeth Doherty Thomas shares her 10 steps to real, self-actualized success. 

Do you find any of these goals intimidating? Do they feel less than possible for you? 

Why?

Part 1 was about professionalism at a surface level. In Part 2, I want to encourage you to take your thoughts on professionalism to a deeper level.

What does it mean for you, to be a counseling professional?

What limitations do you think you have as a counseling professional, and why?

How do you define success for yourself?

What is your biggest professional daydream, and do you think you will allow yourself to achieve it? Why or why not? 

Professionalism is not an event. But it can be a paradigm shift that is a turning point for the rest of your career.

I would love for you to put one of the answers to the questions above in the comment box, so as a community, we can support you in your professionalism. Would you do that right now?

Are we there yet? Part 1

With the upcoming Mind Your Own Business Conference Challenge: Clients Unlimited, private practice has been ON THE BRAIN. 

I'm collecting tips and picking brilliant people's brains (want to interview geniuses? Host a conference) and all I want to talk about is making your counseling dreams come true. There's nothing like talking to these private practice leaders to make it feel like the future you've always wanted is right within your grasp. 

But some of you aren't AT your future yet. You're still thinking about it someday down the line, after you get your license, or after you've worked in an agency for a while. Some of you want to consider it part-time, some of you want to know what you can do RIGHT NOW as an intern to get started.

If that sounds like you, what you need to determine today is what needs to happen either BEFORE you're in private practice or in order to know you're ready for private practice.

In the spirit of my conference preparation, I'm pulling from some of the best minds in the business together to tell you how you can make sure you are more prepared before you step into your own amazing private practice someday. 

But what if I don't know if I want to go into private practice or not? What if I want to work at an agency?

If that's true, don't stop reading. These practices are necessary steps for your success as a professional counselor, no matter where you work! 

Research your market.  Tamara Suttle walks you through market research for therapists on her blog post, "Do You Know What Your Colleagues Are Up To? Market Research in 9 Simple Steps." This is not to foster competition, because you know I believe that we don't have to compete with others to be successful. You have something to offer that no one else does, and researching your market helps you highlight your unique gifts and offerings. 

Have an idea of what you want to DO in your practice. In "10 Signs You Are Ready To Go Into Private Practice" Amy Flaherty says that you need to start with having a business plan before you try to open your doors. I agree. (And I didn't do that, by the way...and wished I had.) If you don't know what you want, how will you know when you get it?

Have a solid self-care plan in place BEFORE you start.
Working for yourself is HARD. That plus a business that is about giving to others on a daily basis is a recipe for DISASTER without a self-care plan. In "10 Self-Care Strategies for Private Practice Shrinks," Julie Hanks gives you ten practical ways to do just that. 

Create SYSTEMS to prevent yourself from working too hard on the wrong thing or doing the same thing over and over again. Oh my goodness this was so hard for me to learn! I tend to be a big thinker but an in-the-moment doer...and that doesn't work long-term. You'll end up stressed and avoiding things you don't like to do, which, contrary to expectation, won't make those things go away. Tracey Lawton solves that problem in her article, "5 Systems For Success Tips."

Be okay with failure. Failure happens, so there's not much point in taking it personally. Besides, it's all in how you define it. In, "Have You Failed Lately? 7 Reasons You Should Try To Fail..." Miranda Palmer gives you seven excellent reasons failure is not something to avoid.

These are just some of the important things to have in place for your private practice before you start! 

Again, if you are thinking about going into another line of counseling work, don't think these don't apply to you. Every professional counselor needs to have a goal for their career (like Amy says) and practice good self-care (like Julie told you!) These are important pieces of preparation for life as a professional mental health therapist. 

Watch this spot next week for more steps to professional success in "Are we there yet? Part 2."

What is your dream for professional success? Comment below! 

Why are you qualified?

How do you know what you're doing?

"Are you married?"

"Are you a parent?"

"How old are you?"

"How long have you been doing this?"

When you're a student counselor or a counselor newbie, these questions just come at you. Most of the time, the harshest questions come from yourself.

"Are you really good enough to help them?"

"What if you hurt them?"

"Do you really know what you're doing?"

The good news is, it gets better. I was inspired to write this today because it's been so long since I struggled with those kinds of thoughts. And trust me, it's not because I don't have bouts of crazy insecurity.

It's because I know what makes me qualified. It's what makes you qualified, too.

It's because I care.

It's because I give my clients a different perspective.

Because I listen when most people would talk.

Because...all that stuff.

It's just what we do. 

 What makes YOU qualified to be a counselor? Share below! 

Who are you? Part three.

If you've been following along in this series so far, you know that many counselors, especially new counselors, struggle with SELF-CONFIDENCE. You've also found out that the secret to developing new counselor confidence is marketing. Not advertising, though that can go with it, but marketing. That's because marketing forces you to:

Identify your specific strengths.


Perfect the art of talking about your strengths.


Regularly share your strengths.

Today, let's talk about what that looks like and how you can make it happen in your life. 

First, identify your specific strengths. Remember in the last post when I shared a list of counseling skills I believed I had? This is your turn to do that. In a Facebook comment, one counselor asked if these were the kinds of characteristics one would put in an "about me" page on your website. Absolutely yes! These are the kinds of things people look for when they come to a counselor. And it leads right into my first suggestion when listing your specific strengths, which is:

• Think about explaining your talents to someone who hasn't ever heard of a counselor before. This makes you look at your strengths a whole new way, and it helps you to explain your skills in layman's terms.

When listing your skills, it's helpful to plan on taking at least 15 minutes of uninterrupted time, and writing freestyle and editing later. If you get stuck, think about:

• "What am I proud to offer in counseling that maybe other counselors don't have?" Think in terms of personal experiences, counseling skills (confrontation, listening, reflection) and communication styles. 

The second step of this journey is perfecting the art of talking about your strengths. And there is an art to it! The beginning of developing this artistic strength is identifying the skills, which most of us don't do ahead of time. After you do that, you want to practice sharing why they matter:

• Practice with a loved one or colleague. Pretend they're asking you, "Why would I send a client to you as opposed to this other counselor or no counselor at all?"

Get used to the idea of unashamedly sharing what you have to offer. You're not saying you're good at everything, you're saying what you are good at. Wouldn't you expect your clients to be as proud of their own talents? So lead by example:

• Watch out for minimizing body posture and words, like saying "sort of," hunching or shrugging your shoulders, or otherwise non-verbally counteracting your words.

Third, regularly share your strengths. Practice makes perfect! Get out there. Here's a phrase I used recently, "I can offer killer talks and articles about preparing emotionally for the transition to college." That was a big step for me! What might be a way you can step out there and share?

• Offering a "brown-bag" lunch presentation at your local school for parents or teachers.
• Writing a professional perspective article on a local or current issue. (Why Justin Beiber and every other child star seems to inevitably implode...)
• Starting a small group at your church, local civic center or community college and enlisting the staff of these places to help spread the word. 

This series, as you can probably tell, has been very personal for me, and it's something near and dear to my heart. So I wanted to do something very unique to close it out. I want to hear from YOU, what questions do you have about marketing your way to self-confidence after reading this series? Post on the blog comments, or email me if you want your name kept private (stephanie AT stephanieadamslpc.com). I will answer as many questions as I can in the next blog post. 

Once again, the question is, "What other questions do you have about marketing yourself to new counselor confidence?" In other words: "Where do you get stuck on this issue?"

Cannot WAIT to hear from you. Comment below or email me! 

Names and identities of counselors responding will be obscured unless otherwise requested. 

Who Are You? Part One.

Have you ever felt afraid that when you start your first counseling gig, that you won't have enough clients? Have you worried about your clients coming to appointments with you and then deciding your work "wasn't worth it?" 

The way I always pictured these scenarios in my head was a bit like Mean Girls. I'd be the new girl trying too hard to impress, and the clients would take one look at me, sigh in disgust, and then show me the hand as they walk out the door. 

When I sit down and spell it out like that, it seems ridiculous! But I'm betting I'm not the only one who has ever felt that way. 

The more I coach Beginning Counselors, the more I'm convinced there a single underlying issue to all Beginning Counselor concerns. Identity.

Whether it's a question of, 'how do I talk to a client who thinks I'm too young,' or 'what do I charge for sessions,' or 'how do I get on EAPs,' what you're all asking underneath that is 'what kind of a counselor am I going to be?'

Each little piece - and there's SO many of them - makes up a small bit of you the practitioner. 

Entering any new career is a point at which a reconstruction has to begin, of yourself as the individual to yourself as the professional. But what is unique to the counseling profession is the very personal nature of our work. 

When a client rejects what you have to offer, it feels like they're rejecting you. 

When they don't complete their homework, you wonder how you could have been more compelling.

When you can't answer a question, you feel like you've let them down.

This is very different from the kind of job in which you only have to communicate that "we're out of the special sauce." That's not to say those kinds of jobs aren't just as hard in a different way, but it's not something you're going to take personally. When you can't offer someone something they want from counseling, however, you take it very personally indeed. 

You feel like you've failed, because you've wrapped up so much of your identity in a multitude of things that change from day to day. How you feel that morning. How a client acts. Whether you keep things on a tight timetable, or know the right words to say. It's exhausting. If your identity as a counselor is in external results then you will be tossed around by the events of the day. 

But many counselors set themselves up this way without even realizing it...especially the new ones. When we're new, we're searching for feedback constantly on how we're doing. And because we don't have the experience yet to balance negative feedback with the bigger picture, we tend to take the worst perspective when it's presented to us.

When a client doesn't come back, we think, "Of course not. I completely screwed up when they dropped that big bombshell. Why would they come back?"

When we list our brand-new practice on Psychology Today, and don't get a single call for a few weeks, we think, "Of course not. Who would want to get help from me?"

Please tell me I'm not the only one who's ever had those dark thoughts. Though thankfully they grow more rare the longer I work in this field, I have to say I thought things like this quite frequently during my early days. 

It sucks to feel that way. This is your dream, and instead of feeling hopeful and useful, you feel like you've made a big mistake thinking you were good enough to enter this field.

Here's the thing. With time, you will see this is not the case. You will see how you were needed and meant to share what you have to offer. 

But that doesn't really help when you're feeling it right now.

Now you just think you're someone who makes idiotic mistakes and you blame yourself for everything that can possibly go wrong in a counseling session.

So how can you help yourself with these feelings right now?

The answer is the same as the problem. Identity.

 

If you don't know who you are as a counselor, you have nothing to combat the self-doubt that comes. 

When you know who you are and why you're here, though. That's when you're unstoppable. 

Fortunately, you don't have to wait several years to develop this on your own. There is something for you, right now, that helps you move from self-doubt into secure self-confidence.

You're not going to believe what it is.

Tune in next week for the answer....

In the meantime, share with us: have you ever felt doubt in your professional abilities? What did you to that helped it? 

The Secret To Overcoming Counselor "Nerves"

The first time you stepped into a counseling office in the role of therapist, you probably felt nervous. Sick to your stomach, maybe. Worried.

Once you got a little time "in the saddle," so to speak, however, you probably felt more confident. You had some key phrases under your belt, had come through some rough circumstances a time or two, and thought to yourself, "Well, glad that's over with."

Except it wasn't.

Despite your experience, despite the time you've spent with clients, from time to time you still feel nervous before you meet with a client for the first time. You worry that you're going to be enough for them. You worry that you might say the wrong thing. The thing you thought you were past has come back again, and you don't know why.

You might wonder if you've lost your skills, regressed somehow, and that's why these nerves are coming back. But it's likely that the opposite occurrence has triggered a return to self-doubt. 

As we gain more skills in counseling, we also gain more awareness of the complexities of problems that are out there. When we are not focusing every ounce of our energy on not screwing up, we have mental space to consider more clearly the ramifications of our actions.

Further, we realize as we move into the next stage - collecting hours for licensure, booking new appointments at an agency, or moving into a fee-for-service model - that our very future as a counselor depends on our own ability to maintain these client relationships and produce "results." 

That's paralyzing, without a doubt.

The first round of nerves was driven by the question, "What if I screw someone up?" The second round asks, "What if I screw up this as a career?"

Whenever you move forward and court greater success, greater fear always lurks in the shadows hoping to get to you. 

Whether it is starting your first private practice, or starting over somewhere new, it is so easy to lose your confidence. You no longer know the ropes. Everything is familiar, but new.

You knew you could do it, so you tried - but now that you're in it, you wonder if you were wrong.

You're not.

Your fear has nothing to do with reality, and everything to do with a false perception of your own ability. 

Human beings tend to base their predictions of the future on their experiences of the past. Since starting something new means by definition there is no exact experience to base it on, the temptation can be to view it as an unproven quality. 

But no matter what your future, there is one thing it can be counted on to have in it - you.

Wherever you exist there is hope for success. That's just a fact.

You want to think of yourself as the problem. After all, you're the one who has "messed up" in the past. 

But you're also the one who's got yourself to this point.

You didn't give up on your dream to be a counselor because the desire to help others got you through your self-doubt in the past. It can do it again. 

Here's the bottom line: You want to escape nerves and stop worrying about your future as a counselor? Believe in yourself and your mission. You're not perfect, and you're definitely flawed, but you're persistent, and you believe in your calling. That's all that is asked of you. 

Lesson of the Day:

You only fail when you give up. Otherwise, it's not over yet. 

Have you ever linked nervousness before sessions to doubt in your own abilities? How have you dealt with that? 

You might also like:

What techniques should a new counselor use? 

What's Newsies Got To Do With It?