[Guest Post] Beware of Warm Body Supervision

If your supervisor has this much energy,
run away. Quickly.

Receiving quality clinical supervision is so important for new therapists

In fact, it is a requirement for independent practice for every mental health license I can think of in the US.

That tells you just how important it is: it is a best-practice standard.

So what happens if you end up with a warm body supervisor?

A warm body supervisor—what’s that?

It’s just like it sounds: your supervisor is just a warm body who signs off on your hours.

It’s really sad, actually. Most supervisors don’t start off as warm bodies. They usually started off excited about their profession and prospects.

But somewhere along the way, things broke down. The causes of warm body supervision are various.

• Your supervisor might be overworked and not have time for you. 
• They may be burned out. 
• Maybe they’ve just lost their motivation or interest in supervision—or clinical work. 
• Perhaps they had a warm body supervisor themselves and don’t know how to raise the bar.

Regardless of the cause, having a warm body supervisor can really damage your professional development.

Read on to learn about 5 red flags to watch out for…

Five red flags

So how do you know if you have a warm body supervisor?

Here are a few clues:

1.) They don’t remember details.

Not everyone has an incredible memory. That’s ok.

But if your supervisor can’t remember even the basics about your caseload from week to week– and doesn’t bother to take notes to help themselves remember– you’ve got a problem.

2.) They make you do all the work.

Part of developing clinical skills means taking initiative. Your supervisor may take a back seat for certain tasks to help build your autonomy. This is normal.

But if your supervisor’s response to most every question you have is, “Hmm, I’m not sure. Why don’t you look into that and let me know what you find?” — you’ve got a problem.

3.) They’re gone.

Whether it’s for an emergency consultation or your scheduled supervision hour, warm body supervisors are often unavailable.

You have to fight to get your weekly hour of supervision. 

“Just catch up with me if you have questions,” they may say.

Or your supervisor may be absent in other ways: answering the phone frequently during your hour, falling asleep, or doing other work while also “listening” to you.

If your supervisor has to interrupt your supervision to attend to something else, it should be the exception, not the rule. You deserve someone’s undivided attention during your supervision hour.

4.) They don’t give you feedback.

You have to fight to get a performance evaluation.

All their comments about your work are vaguely positive platitudes.

“Nice job!” they say. “You’re doing great!”

But when pressed for details about specifics on your work, they can’t come up with any.

This is because they really don’t know anything about your work.

They’ve never looked at any of your documentation.

They’ve never reviewed any audio or video tape of your sessions.

They have no idea who is on your caseload (see #1).

5.) They are unethical.

An inherent part of any supervisor’s job to take interest in your work, to pay attention to what you are doing. Warm body supervisors are neglectful of their supervisees. This represents a lack of professional integrity.

You may stumble across other problems of ethics with these supervisors. They may tell you it is okay to fudge your hours or notes. Or they may be chummy with you because they want to be liked. Or they may ask you to keep secrets. Or they act like your requests for supervision are burdensome.

We must hold boundaries as therapists so clients have safe space to do their work. Supervisors have a similar obligation to their supervisees.

What you deserve

You deserve better than this.

I should be really clear here.

These are merely my own opinions about a supervisor’s obligation to a supervisee.

Each licensing board does offer some guidance about supervision. But it’s certainly not this specific.

Not everyone will share these standards.

The warm body problem is pervasive.

I find that this is more likely to happen if you are receiving supervision for free or via an agency, where a staff member is not receiving any additional compensation for overseeing your work.

But even if you pay privately, you may end up with a warm body supervisor.

The simple fact is that many beginning therapists do not know what to expect from supervision. They defer to their supervisor. So I wrote this article to inform you about your options.

I want you to feel empowered, to seek out supervision that meets your needs.

Be cautious

Before you write off your supervisor as one of the warm body kinds, make sure you’ve thought it all through.

Have you been clear about your expectations?

Have you offered feedback about what you need and if so, how did your supervisor respond?

If you are considering changing supervisors, it is important to try and discuss things with your current supervisor.

I would hope that your supervisor checks in periodically for feedback from you. But you may need to take initiative on these conversations.

If your supervisor is acting towards you in a way that is unethical—being threatening or abusive, for example—you may choose not to take the issue up with them directly but seek other help via human resources, or private consultation with another therapist or trusted colleague.

Consider: is this a matter of having different styles or values?

Some people prefer supervisors who are more directive. Think to yourself: could I imagine other people feeling okay working with this supervisor? If the answer is yes, you may be encountering a stylistic difference.

Final thoughts

The best antidote against warm body supervision?

Interview more than one supervisor.

Have an honest, open discussion up front about your expectations—before you enter into contract with a supervisor.

If your agency furnishes a supervisor and you aren’t happy with the quality, seek additional mentorship elsewhere.

You deserve quality supervision! So don’t give up until you’re satisfied.

Ann Stonebraker is a counselor in Austin, Texas who helps folks quit people-pleasing. She writes weekly for her own practice blog at Labyrinth Healing, as well as at her latest project, counselinginterns.com, a resource site for counseling students, interns, & therapists in private practice. This blog post was originally published here. 

Who are you? Part three.

If you've been following along in this series so far, you know that many counselors, especially new counselors, struggle with SELF-CONFIDENCE. You've also found out that the secret to developing new counselor confidence is marketing. Not advertising, though that can go with it, but marketing. That's because marketing forces you to:

Identify your specific strengths.


Perfect the art of talking about your strengths.


Regularly share your strengths.

Today, let's talk about what that looks like and how you can make it happen in your life. 

First, identify your specific strengths. Remember in the last post when I shared a list of counseling skills I believed I had? This is your turn to do that. In a Facebook comment, one counselor asked if these were the kinds of characteristics one would put in an "about me" page on your website. Absolutely yes! These are the kinds of things people look for when they come to a counselor. And it leads right into my first suggestion when listing your specific strengths, which is:

• Think about explaining your talents to someone who hasn't ever heard of a counselor before. This makes you look at your strengths a whole new way, and it helps you to explain your skills in layman's terms.

When listing your skills, it's helpful to plan on taking at least 15 minutes of uninterrupted time, and writing freestyle and editing later. If you get stuck, think about:

• "What am I proud to offer in counseling that maybe other counselors don't have?" Think in terms of personal experiences, counseling skills (confrontation, listening, reflection) and communication styles. 

The second step of this journey is perfecting the art of talking about your strengths. And there is an art to it! The beginning of developing this artistic strength is identifying the skills, which most of us don't do ahead of time. After you do that, you want to practice sharing why they matter:

• Practice with a loved one or colleague. Pretend they're asking you, "Why would I send a client to you as opposed to this other counselor or no counselor at all?"

Get used to the idea of unashamedly sharing what you have to offer. You're not saying you're good at everything, you're saying what you are good at. Wouldn't you expect your clients to be as proud of their own talents? So lead by example:

• Watch out for minimizing body posture and words, like saying "sort of," hunching or shrugging your shoulders, or otherwise non-verbally counteracting your words.

Third, regularly share your strengths. Practice makes perfect! Get out there. Here's a phrase I used recently, "I can offer killer talks and articles about preparing emotionally for the transition to college." That was a big step for me! What might be a way you can step out there and share?

• Offering a "brown-bag" lunch presentation at your local school for parents or teachers.
• Writing a professional perspective article on a local or current issue. (Why Justin Beiber and every other child star seems to inevitably implode...)
• Starting a small group at your church, local civic center or community college and enlisting the staff of these places to help spread the word. 

This series, as you can probably tell, has been very personal for me, and it's something near and dear to my heart. So I wanted to do something very unique to close it out. I want to hear from YOU, what questions do you have about marketing your way to self-confidence after reading this series? Post on the blog comments, or email me if you want your name kept private (stephanie AT stephanieadamslpc.com). I will answer as many questions as I can in the next blog post. 

Once again, the question is, "What other questions do you have about marketing yourself to new counselor confidence?" In other words: "Where do you get stuck on this issue?"

Cannot WAIT to hear from you. Comment below or email me! 

Names and identities of counselors responding will be obscured unless otherwise requested. 

Who Are You? Part Two.

In the last post, I promised to tell you the secret that helps you move from self-doubt to self-confidence as a new counselor. Well, here it is, no drumroll needed.

That secret is marketing.

Marketing? I'm seriously telling you to take out a directory listing or a Facebook ad as the solution to self-confidence?

No, if I told you to do that I would be telling you to advertise. I'm telling you to market yourself, which is a completely different beast from advertising yourself.

Why?

Well, let's look at the word marketing.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/marketing

When we talk about marketing, we're not talking about selling. We're talking about making people aware of your services and their availability.

But before you can do that, you have to know - confidently - what your offerings are.

Remember when the self-esteem fad was saying affirmations in the mirror?  Now, no denigration to the idea in general, it seemed to help some people and there is research that validates the power of positive speaking, posture and thinking. But for me and the clients I seem to attract, we don't tend to respond to that.

If I simply say, "I am a great counselor" in the mirror, it will be said with a smirk and a hint of sarcasm.

Like many people, I require "proof" before I give myself that kind of credit.

This could easily sound like I'm advocating perfectionism or worth through works, so let me clarify my statement. I don't believe in giving yourself "proof" through what you do, but instead providing proof of your worth and value because of who you are.

I believe these qualities make me a good counselor:

·      I listen well.

·      I am empathetic.

·      I am good at helping people shift perspective.

·      I have a fluid grasp of language as a tool.

·      I can confront in a way that people don't feel harassed.

Several years ago I could NOT have written these qualities in a public forum. I would have felt that it was bragging and that people would think I was stuck on myself. I wouldn't have allowed myself to believe some of these things, because my belief about being a counselor was that a person had to take on a mantle of subservience. In order to effectively serve one had to lower yourself.

My definition of counseling as a profession in some ways reflecting my unhealthy view of myself - that my needs were never as valuable as someone else's.

This is getting really, uncomfortably personal for me now, but the one thing that changed that perspective professionally was learning how to market myself, so I feel it's necessary background information.

Why is marketing the key? Why am I advocating it so strongly for you today?

It's simple.

Marketing forces you to do three things necessary to develop authentic self-confidence:

Identify your specific strengths.

Perfect the art of talking about your strengths.

Regularly share your strengths.

These three things create and perpetuate counselor self-confidence.

However, knowing WHAT to do is not the same as knowing HOW to do it. Tune in next week to find out how to market yourself to new counselor confidence!

The Secret To Overcoming Counselor "Nerves"

The first time you stepped into a counseling office in the role of therapist, you probably felt nervous. Sick to your stomach, maybe. Worried.

Once you got a little time "in the saddle," so to speak, however, you probably felt more confident. You had some key phrases under your belt, had come through some rough circumstances a time or two, and thought to yourself, "Well, glad that's over with."

Except it wasn't.

Despite your experience, despite the time you've spent with clients, from time to time you still feel nervous before you meet with a client for the first time. You worry that you're going to be enough for them. You worry that you might say the wrong thing. The thing you thought you were past has come back again, and you don't know why.

You might wonder if you've lost your skills, regressed somehow, and that's why these nerves are coming back. But it's likely that the opposite occurrence has triggered a return to self-doubt. 

As we gain more skills in counseling, we also gain more awareness of the complexities of problems that are out there. When we are not focusing every ounce of our energy on not screwing up, we have mental space to consider more clearly the ramifications of our actions.

Further, we realize as we move into the next stage - collecting hours for licensure, booking new appointments at an agency, or moving into a fee-for-service model - that our very future as a counselor depends on our own ability to maintain these client relationships and produce "results." 

That's paralyzing, without a doubt.

The first round of nerves was driven by the question, "What if I screw someone up?" The second round asks, "What if I screw up this as a career?"

Whenever you move forward and court greater success, greater fear always lurks in the shadows hoping to get to you. 

Whether it is starting your first private practice, or starting over somewhere new, it is so easy to lose your confidence. You no longer know the ropes. Everything is familiar, but new.

You knew you could do it, so you tried - but now that you're in it, you wonder if you were wrong.

You're not.

Your fear has nothing to do with reality, and everything to do with a false perception of your own ability. 

Human beings tend to base their predictions of the future on their experiences of the past. Since starting something new means by definition there is no exact experience to base it on, the temptation can be to view it as an unproven quality. 

But no matter what your future, there is one thing it can be counted on to have in it - you.

Wherever you exist there is hope for success. That's just a fact.

You want to think of yourself as the problem. After all, you're the one who has "messed up" in the past. 

But you're also the one who's got yourself to this point.

You didn't give up on your dream to be a counselor because the desire to help others got you through your self-doubt in the past. It can do it again. 

Here's the bottom line: You want to escape nerves and stop worrying about your future as a counselor? Believe in yourself and your mission. You're not perfect, and you're definitely flawed, but you're persistent, and you believe in your calling. That's all that is asked of you. 

Lesson of the Day:

You only fail when you give up. Otherwise, it's not over yet. 

Have you ever linked nervousness before sessions to doubt in your own abilities? How have you dealt with that? 

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