Who are you? Q & A

Marketing yourself. We've been discussing how it build confidence, why you want to do it, and how to put it into practice. But some questions can't be addressed on a general basis. That's why I asked you to share with me your biggest questions on marketing as a newbie counselor. 

Q: Do you have any suggestions on how to present or market oneself as an intern counselor to a potential supervisor? Specifically, in a cover letter/resume format and in the case of someone waiting on their license to come through. 

• My first suggestion with any kind of marketing is "don't start with you." The cover letter or resume that states your objective, in my opinion, misses the mark. Even the kindest person sifting through a bunch of resumes doesn't care about your needs at that exact moment - they are looking to fill their sometimes desperate need. Start instead with a question or a statement about their needs and then tie your skills and desires into it. 
• If you have something that is lacking, approach it a different way. In this person's scenario, you might say: "Although I won't take my NCE until _____, I am actively seeking a supervisor and further client experience starting immediately." There are some legal restrictions you will have to overcome to work with clients after graduation, but before an official start to your internship. If these exist in your state, you might propose a compromise that is legal, for some people, volunteering hours and/or getting temporary liability insurance that covers you under another umbrella.
• Follow up. Most people don't. Snail mail is very inconvenient to respond to. The person receiving the message may mean to respond, but put it in their "to-do" pile indefinitely. You can follow up with a simple phrase like, "I wanted to see if you received my cover letter and resume." [If yes] "Do you think that my skills might be a good match for your needs?"
• Research them. If you can say why you like their organization, it will go a lot farther for you. Make sure your counseling theories match, and that the job isn't "too good to be true." Sadly, an internship that promises major $$$ may be a scam because that kind of money just isn't there at the intern level. 

Q: Why don't you take Medicaid...(or another specific insurance panel they want covered)? 

My answer to this question when I first started was stupid. "Because I have to be licensed such-and-such amount of time to get on this panel...because there are too many people on-panel in this area..." I would end up redirecting the clients to other providers rather than offering them a solution that would work for them.

When a client says, "Why don't you take..." they aren't really asking why. They're communicating that they have some level of interest in your services and are frustrated that you don't offer their insurance panel. But they're still talking to you, which means they're not convinced they want to go with someone else. So here's what you can do instead. 

Affirm that you support whatever they choose to do next, but you have options for people who have insurance you don't take. That might be sliding scale, out-of-network benefits, group therapy, coming less often, etc. Ask them to try it out and see if they like it. If it doesn't suit them, they don't have to keep coming, but it might be the right fit for them. Remind them that there are privacy compromises and limitations on service with insurance providers, and as an out-of-network provider they have more choices with you. 

If they don't want to go off-panel, they won't. They'll call around till they find another provider. But if they want to talk to you enough to ask you "why?"...then they're still invested in the option of working with you. Trust in the VALUE you have to offer and give them another option to consider. 

Q: How do you make sure people are getting what you're sharing with them...and not just nodding their heads?

Ah...I see.

But do they really? Sometimes it's hard to know if you're really getting through to people. But anyone can learn to read the signals of comprehension in order to better communicate their message.

With a referral source, client or coworker, you know you're likely communicating effectively when you see a few positive body language signals, like the ones below:

• Repeating back to you a version of what you've been saying.
• Focused gaze on you or off to the side, as if they're thinking. 
• Taking notes.
• Getting closer or leaning into your space. 
• Mirroring movements. 
• Feet crossed at the ankles while sitting. 

Some signals that might indicate distrust, disinterest, or impatience are:

• Looking away at other things, shifting eyes.
• Shifting feet, tapping feet.
• Crossed arms.
• Hands on hips.
• Looking down. (Though in some people this can be thoughtfulness.)
• Squinting eyes with lowered eyebrows. 

Of course, you want to have more of the former than the latter. So if you are experiencing some negative signals from another person, you might be able to turn it around with one of these tricks:

• Asking about comprehension. "You know, I'm feeling like I might be being confusing. Am I making sense?"
• Asking for their opinion. "What do you think about what I've been saying?"
• Keeping it short. Leaving out extra topics and going over what has already been discussed once again.
• Trying an analogy or metaphor. "I like to think about it as a ship in a storm..."
• Trying a visual aid. Prepare one or two that you can keep on you or bring to meetings! 

As you try some of these strategies, watch for the other person to suddenly snap back into the present. That will tell you what to continue speaking about, and what to abandon.

That's enough questions for today, but I'm always here! If you could have any question about counseling answered, what would it be? Did the answers today help you resolve anything you were struggling with?

Who are you? Part three.

If you've been following along in this series so far, you know that many counselors, especially new counselors, struggle with SELF-CONFIDENCE. You've also found out that the secret to developing new counselor confidence is marketing. Not advertising, though that can go with it, but marketing. That's because marketing forces you to:

Identify your specific strengths.


Perfect the art of talking about your strengths.


Regularly share your strengths.

Today, let's talk about what that looks like and how you can make it happen in your life. 

First, identify your specific strengths. Remember in the last post when I shared a list of counseling skills I believed I had? This is your turn to do that. In a Facebook comment, one counselor asked if these were the kinds of characteristics one would put in an "about me" page on your website. Absolutely yes! These are the kinds of things people look for when they come to a counselor. And it leads right into my first suggestion when listing your specific strengths, which is:

• Think about explaining your talents to someone who hasn't ever heard of a counselor before. This makes you look at your strengths a whole new way, and it helps you to explain your skills in layman's terms.

When listing your skills, it's helpful to plan on taking at least 15 minutes of uninterrupted time, and writing freestyle and editing later. If you get stuck, think about:

• "What am I proud to offer in counseling that maybe other counselors don't have?" Think in terms of personal experiences, counseling skills (confrontation, listening, reflection) and communication styles. 

The second step of this journey is perfecting the art of talking about your strengths. And there is an art to it! The beginning of developing this artistic strength is identifying the skills, which most of us don't do ahead of time. After you do that, you want to practice sharing why they matter:

• Practice with a loved one or colleague. Pretend they're asking you, "Why would I send a client to you as opposed to this other counselor or no counselor at all?"

Get used to the idea of unashamedly sharing what you have to offer. You're not saying you're good at everything, you're saying what you are good at. Wouldn't you expect your clients to be as proud of their own talents? So lead by example:

• Watch out for minimizing body posture and words, like saying "sort of," hunching or shrugging your shoulders, or otherwise non-verbally counteracting your words.

Third, regularly share your strengths. Practice makes perfect! Get out there. Here's a phrase I used recently, "I can offer killer talks and articles about preparing emotionally for the transition to college." That was a big step for me! What might be a way you can step out there and share?

• Offering a "brown-bag" lunch presentation at your local school for parents or teachers.
• Writing a professional perspective article on a local or current issue. (Why Justin Beiber and every other child star seems to inevitably implode...)
• Starting a small group at your church, local civic center or community college and enlisting the staff of these places to help spread the word. 

This series, as you can probably tell, has been very personal for me, and it's something near and dear to my heart. So I wanted to do something very unique to close it out. I want to hear from YOU, what questions do you have about marketing your way to self-confidence after reading this series? Post on the blog comments, or email me if you want your name kept private (stephanie AT stephanieadamslpc.com). I will answer as many questions as I can in the next blog post. 

Once again, the question is, "What other questions do you have about marketing yourself to new counselor confidence?" In other words: "Where do you get stuck on this issue?"

Cannot WAIT to hear from you. Comment below or email me! 

Names and identities of counselors responding will be obscured unless otherwise requested. 

Who Are You? Part Two.

In the last post, I promised to tell you the secret that helps you move from self-doubt to self-confidence as a new counselor. Well, here it is, no drumroll needed.

That secret is marketing.

Marketing? I'm seriously telling you to take out a directory listing or a Facebook ad as the solution to self-confidence?

No, if I told you to do that I would be telling you to advertise. I'm telling you to market yourself, which is a completely different beast from advertising yourself.

Why?

Well, let's look at the word marketing.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/marketing

When we talk about marketing, we're not talking about selling. We're talking about making people aware of your services and their availability.

But before you can do that, you have to know - confidently - what your offerings are.

Remember when the self-esteem fad was saying affirmations in the mirror?  Now, no denigration to the idea in general, it seemed to help some people and there is research that validates the power of positive speaking, posture and thinking. But for me and the clients I seem to attract, we don't tend to respond to that.

If I simply say, "I am a great counselor" in the mirror, it will be said with a smirk and a hint of sarcasm.

Like many people, I require "proof" before I give myself that kind of credit.

This could easily sound like I'm advocating perfectionism or worth through works, so let me clarify my statement. I don't believe in giving yourself "proof" through what you do, but instead providing proof of your worth and value because of who you are.

I believe these qualities make me a good counselor:

·      I listen well.

·      I am empathetic.

·      I am good at helping people shift perspective.

·      I have a fluid grasp of language as a tool.

·      I can confront in a way that people don't feel harassed.

Several years ago I could NOT have written these qualities in a public forum. I would have felt that it was bragging and that people would think I was stuck on myself. I wouldn't have allowed myself to believe some of these things, because my belief about being a counselor was that a person had to take on a mantle of subservience. In order to effectively serve one had to lower yourself.

My definition of counseling as a profession in some ways reflecting my unhealthy view of myself - that my needs were never as valuable as someone else's.

This is getting really, uncomfortably personal for me now, but the one thing that changed that perspective professionally was learning how to market myself, so I feel it's necessary background information.

Why is marketing the key? Why am I advocating it so strongly for you today?

It's simple.

Marketing forces you to do three things necessary to develop authentic self-confidence:

Identify your specific strengths.

Perfect the art of talking about your strengths.

Regularly share your strengths.

These three things create and perpetuate counselor self-confidence.

However, knowing WHAT to do is not the same as knowing HOW to do it. Tune in next week to find out how to market yourself to new counselor confidence!

Who Are You? Part One.

Have you ever felt afraid that when you start your first counseling gig, that you won't have enough clients? Have you worried about your clients coming to appointments with you and then deciding your work "wasn't worth it?" 

The way I always pictured these scenarios in my head was a bit like Mean Girls. I'd be the new girl trying too hard to impress, and the clients would take one look at me, sigh in disgust, and then show me the hand as they walk out the door. 

When I sit down and spell it out like that, it seems ridiculous! But I'm betting I'm not the only one who has ever felt that way. 

The more I coach Beginning Counselors, the more I'm convinced there a single underlying issue to all Beginning Counselor concerns. Identity.

Whether it's a question of, 'how do I talk to a client who thinks I'm too young,' or 'what do I charge for sessions,' or 'how do I get on EAPs,' what you're all asking underneath that is 'what kind of a counselor am I going to be?'

Each little piece - and there's SO many of them - makes up a small bit of you the practitioner. 

Entering any new career is a point at which a reconstruction has to begin, of yourself as the individual to yourself as the professional. But what is unique to the counseling profession is the very personal nature of our work. 

When a client rejects what you have to offer, it feels like they're rejecting you. 

When they don't complete their homework, you wonder how you could have been more compelling.

When you can't answer a question, you feel like you've let them down.

This is very different from the kind of job in which you only have to communicate that "we're out of the special sauce." That's not to say those kinds of jobs aren't just as hard in a different way, but it's not something you're going to take personally. When you can't offer someone something they want from counseling, however, you take it very personally indeed. 

You feel like you've failed, because you've wrapped up so much of your identity in a multitude of things that change from day to day. How you feel that morning. How a client acts. Whether you keep things on a tight timetable, or know the right words to say. It's exhausting. If your identity as a counselor is in external results then you will be tossed around by the events of the day. 

But many counselors set themselves up this way without even realizing it...especially the new ones. When we're new, we're searching for feedback constantly on how we're doing. And because we don't have the experience yet to balance negative feedback with the bigger picture, we tend to take the worst perspective when it's presented to us.

When a client doesn't come back, we think, "Of course not. I completely screwed up when they dropped that big bombshell. Why would they come back?"

When we list our brand-new practice on Psychology Today, and don't get a single call for a few weeks, we think, "Of course not. Who would want to get help from me?"

Please tell me I'm not the only one who's ever had those dark thoughts. Though thankfully they grow more rare the longer I work in this field, I have to say I thought things like this quite frequently during my early days. 

It sucks to feel that way. This is your dream, and instead of feeling hopeful and useful, you feel like you've made a big mistake thinking you were good enough to enter this field.

Here's the thing. With time, you will see this is not the case. You will see how you were needed and meant to share what you have to offer. 

But that doesn't really help when you're feeling it right now.

Now you just think you're someone who makes idiotic mistakes and you blame yourself for everything that can possibly go wrong in a counseling session.

So how can you help yourself with these feelings right now?

The answer is the same as the problem. Identity.

 

If you don't know who you are as a counselor, you have nothing to combat the self-doubt that comes. 

When you know who you are and why you're here, though. That's when you're unstoppable. 

Fortunately, you don't have to wait several years to develop this on your own. There is something for you, right now, that helps you move from self-doubt into secure self-confidence.

You're not going to believe what it is.

Tune in next week for the answer....

In the meantime, share with us: have you ever felt doubt in your professional abilities? What did you to that helped it? 

7 Ways To Start The Search For The Perfect Clinical Supervisor

After graduation, there's one thing standing between you and your dream career - your clinical internship. This internship is made up of two essential ingredients: several thousand hours, and a clinical supervisor. This is a person you will spend 2-5 years with, who will sign off on your license application, and shape your perspective on counseling as a profession. Kind of a big deal. 

Ironically enough, such a big decision often is made for you, as many supervisors "come with" an internship site. Your supervisor is so important to you, it seems crazy that most people get them as a package deal like fries and a Coke. Not that it doesn't make sense - internship sites are hard to come by, and it seems excessive to pay outside fees for a supervisor if you already have one set up. 

But I've found that some people aren't happy with the clinical supervisors they get with their site - sometimes they find out later that the supervisor doesn't have the experience in what they want to learn about, or even in some cases, that the supervisor is unethical. So they have to find a new one.

Some sites, especially nonprofits, don't come with a supervisor at all. They just don't have the means to keep one on staff. 

Any of these situations mean that an intern would have to do their own legwork in finding an independent clinical supervisor. As I discovered when recently asked to help refer an intern to a clinical supervisor, that is not as easy a task as one might think.

To be successful in finding the perfect clinical supervisor, you need several things. 

You need to do your homework and find out what a supervisor wants from you.

You need to know what YOU want in a supervisor and prioritize. 

You need to know how you are going to pay the fees an outside supervisor requires and what you get for those fees. 

But before all that, you need to know where to start. 

That's what I'm here to help you with today. We're going to talk about seven ways you can get started in your search for the perfect clinical supervisor.

1. Your University. My school, like many others, keeps a roster of local LPC-S supervisors that have worked with their students before. Usually this includes both outside and site-based supervisors. School bulletin boards in your department might also include advertisements for private clinical supervisors. 
2. State Rosters. My completely unscientific sampling of several state licensing board showed that each provides a listing of supervisors in their state. There is no further descriptive data on individual supervisors, but it's a place to start. (Examples: Washington, New York) Tip: If your roster is not searchable, download the excel file and sort by city, selecting the column and then "sort." 
3. Networking. Just as one of you interns asked me, ask another counselor or fellow intern if they know someone who does clinical supervision. Right now, I don't have a huge referral list, but I have a few names I'm happy to share. Someday, I might even be able to refer you to myself! I've been considering getting my supervisor credentials lately...
4. Supervisor Listing Websites. SupervisorDirectory.com allows supervisors to list their availability for a low rate, so you're likely to get supervisors of different fee rates if that's important to you. Supervision Today is free for you to search and easy to navigate, for LPCs, LCSWs, and LMFTs.
5. LinkedIn. Linked in is a surprisingly good and often overlooked resource for finding supervisors, though it won't be as effective if you don't already have some counselor connections. Just type in LPC-S, LMFT-S, etc. into your search box and you'll start coming up with people you are already connected with and people who are connected to potential supervisors.
6. Psychology Today. This is lower on the list because it's more time-intensive to search. But it's still possible to pull up local listings and scan the credentials of each counselor listed. Some, not all, will list their supervisor credentials here! This is a neat option because you get more information about potential supervisors before you call them. 
7. Search Engines. This is certainly something that's easy to try, but it's last on the list because it is hard to find the right search term. You're just as likely to get a listing of LPC-S jobs as you are to find LPC-S-es that you can call. But it's worth a shot.

So there you have it. Seven ways to start the search for the perfect clinical supervisor. Try them out and let me know which was most successful for you! But before you do so, will you do one more quick favor for me? 

I've really liked getting to know all of you better, and I think the real strength of Beginning Counselor is in our community. So, in the interest of knowing each other more as well as giving me insight into the kind of referrals you need from me, will you share your experience with me?

If you'll do this quick thing for me, you'll help me jump start a new project I'm working on for all of you. For now, let's just call it the Community Snapshot project...but it can't happen without your help.

Click if I've succeeded in my guilt trip and you'll fill out this quick 4-question form. 

I know I have some licensed counselors reading my posts, but this one's just for the students & interns. So you're off the hook.

How did you find your supervisor? What did you learn was important in the search? Share in the comments below!

The Life of A Mental Health Professional (Our First Infographic!)

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PLANNING For Client Success

When was the last time you knew someone who followed their New Year's Resolution? If you can't think of an example, you're in the majority. A mere 8% of people successfully follow their resolutions each year. That leaves all the rest feeling discouraged and down on themselves. 

But this shouldn't be surprising news, right? We know better than anyone. Our job, after all, is change, and change is HARD.

During the course of therapy, our clients will "fail" on the path to achieving their goals in a multitude of ways. 

• Fall off the wagon.
• Speak to the destructive ex-partner.
• Overwork, overeat, or overplan. 
• Go off the grid. 
• Hide from the world.
• Explode in anger.

Or any of a dozen other vices they are in therapy to address. 

We know how hard it is to achieve change, both from our personal experience and from watching many, many clients go down the same path. There is no direct ascension in the path to success. Change is like a game of Chutes and Ladders. One spin moves you way up, and another can bring you back down again.

We know that. But our clients don't often know that. 

How many times have you had a client "apologize" to you for messing up on their therapy goals?

Or stop coming to counseling altogether, only to find out later that they did so because they were ashamed for violating a goal they discussed with you?

It is completely unrealistic to expect perfect success, without any setbacks, from anyone trying to accomplish a change in their lives. But clients often see the completely normal up-and-down path of working towards a goal as their own private failure. 

That is why I believe it's important that we go out of our way to disabuse clients of this unrealistic notion of success. Whether they're working towards a New Year's Resolution or trying to achieve another goal, it's part of our job to let them know that they are only able to affect the now.

We can do that by the simple act of believing in them. If someone has believed in us in the past, we may take the power of that belief for granted. But in reality, many people don't have that. Before they come to counseling, they have probably been struggling with this issue a long time. Their family and friends may be sick of hearing about it. Their family and friends may be part of the problem. The belief you have in their ability to change may genuinely be the only strength of belief they have in their life.

Your belief in them can be the very thing that teaches them by example how to believe in themselves. 

It opens the door to teaching them other tools to self-belief:

• Creating opportunities to prove your own strengths.
• "Flipping" the situation: if another person you trusted was facing the same odds, would you be as hard on them as you're being on yourself?
• Rehearsing self-control before a trigger and increasing your ability to avoid temptation.
• Reminding yourself that self-belief is something you can learn. 

Our job is a little like New Year's in a bottle - with every new client we're trying to set them up for success with challenges that are staggeringly difficult to achieve. But by believing in their ability to achieve their goals, we teach them that it is possible...even if there are a few bumps along the way. 

What do YOU tell clients to help encourage them success is possible? Comment below!